Now We are Six: with apologies to A.A.Milne

Angel made a second attempt and this time the small monster ran between our neighbours garage and fence. It took ages for her to coax him out of there and once more she tried. This time he got as far as the house before scuttling off yet again. On the fourth attempt she managed to convince him to enter but then he saw Middle daughter’s feet and off he went. We were now pretending to be statues. Time ticked slowly by and yes he made it to the bottom of the stairs at which point Middle daughter raced to shut the door.

We then had to detach him from the bookcase but he was struggling wildly. She passed him to me and I made it up half the stairs before he sank fangs into my thumb. He flew through the air for a couple more steps and then bolted into the bathroom and took up residence under the bath (yet another story). We pushed Angel into the bathroom but she did not want to look for him and got quite assertive about this. We retired to have some refreshments.

Whilst we were discussing further moves Angel reappeared with another kitten. This one was more amenable and was raced up the stairs to join the others. We were pleased as now we felt the family was complete and safe but off Angel went again and yes there was yet another. Five kittens, most amazing from such a small cat, but they seemed fairly well fed and healthy. This kitten tried to dive behind the bookcase in the hallway. It was remarkably like Mimi apart from its facial adornment, which made it look like a miniature batman. Having extricated it from its chosen hiding place we wrapped it in (more smothered it in) a sweatshirt to carry it to its siblings.

Number three was still under the bath at this point and doing a very good impression of being part of the plumbing. It was getting late and we were exhausted so it was decided to cook dinner as obviously we now had five kittens relatively safe. I was just chopping onions when Angel appeared. She had another kitten. This one sighted the space under the sink cupboard and bolted into it. I put down my chef knife and dived after it. Luckily it was fairly docile on the upward trip and soon it had vanished into the mysterious depths of youngest daughter’s old room.

We were so tired by the time dinner was cooked that we could not remember how many kittens there were as much of the afternoon seemed to have extended into the Dream Time. It was no good trying to count them as they were firmly hidden behind musical instruments and computer parts.

I put in an emergency plea for a much larger dirt tray and one of my neighbours came racing round the next day full of kitten hopes. I told her she would be lucky but she tried and saw zero kittens. Somebody up there is eating all the food and using the dirt tray. The Tuxedo gentleman is out from under the bath and back with the brood. He is obviously the most hyperactive and they have formed a three aside football team as I can hear them thundering across the floor after the balls I thoughtfully (I am an idiot) provided. They are waking me up at least twice a night. (Only an idiot would choose to sleep in the room below a herd of kittens with big boots on). I have moved some things around to make sure they are fairly safe and Angel is doing her own thing whilst expecting me to baby-sit at a moments notice. I must add here that donations of food are always welcome.