There are people for whom the truth is a strange and convoluted device specifically designed to hide the inadequacies of their home lives. That is to say that they have to manipulate the actual truth to make it seem as if they do indeed enjoy basking in the warmth of their children’s adulation and care. This is sad and on a day such as this when Mothers are being remembered it must seem even sadder. It is little fun to receive an expensive bunch of flowers when no one visits, or to wave at an ensemble of cards when the reality is respect for tradition rather than love.
Despite her strange belief that I spent vast hours visiting her I did try and keep my trips to the Dragon’s Den to two or three hours a week. This was largely due to the fact that it was boring having to listen to endless details of people that I did not know on the Internet or again listening to the inane happenings of reality TV shows. My middle daughter had a period of unemployment some two years back when she was made redundant from the BBC. I was happily at work on my computer as I do on occasion sell readings on Ebay. The telephone rang. It was Dragon. She was upset. She radiated panic and anxiety. This was not normal Dragon mode and it was also unusual for her to telephone me. She had bad news and no she could not say it on the telephone. She seemed near to tears.
I put the telephone down and middle daughter asked me what was wrong. “I am worried about Dragon”, I said. “She sounded so distressed and she has had bad news from the hospital.
“What is wrong with her?”
“I do not know as she would not say over the telephone so it must be bad.”
I will point out at this stage that there are people who do not dance to the Dragon’s piping and one of these is her daughter. It is not just that the girl has her army career to think about or her marriage to take care of. She enjoys the company of her cousins and is frequently a visitor to their house two streets away from Dragon. This has been a bone of contention for some time now as her trips home are a trifle infrequent, but then children grow and live their own lives, and a good parent understands this. In fact the obvious answer would be to take a walk to her sister’s house where she would be welcomed and then able to enjoy the company of all. I can even remember that the consultant at the hospital recommended that she get out for a short walk every day so that she would not be putting on so much weight, as I had tried to encourage her in this.
Middle daughter thought briefly and then she pulled a ten-pound note from her purse. “Buy her some flowers, Mum, “ she said.
“Are you sure, I queried?” As she was surviving on unemployment benefit.
“It is okay,” she said I will manage.
I stopped at the local shop to buy flowers and secured these in my backpack. Then I cycled to the Dragon’s house.
She seemed bemused to see me and a little surprised at the flowers. She did not seem anxious or upset now.
“We were worried,” I explained, “Worried about your telephone call.”
“Oh that she,” said and at this she looked a little shifty. “They said I have to have a diabetes test”.
I swallowed and took a deep breath. I have had three such tests in my life and they are fairly standard, but then who am I to judge others. I smiled wanly.
“Did you phone my daughter,” she asked
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(((((P))))) ((((P's Daughter)))))
ReplyDeleteI do hope you know that your place is secure on those highest of realms in heaven? I could just see you then on your bike, with those flowers - and your poor daughter bless her, what an amazing job you have done bringing her up.
You know P, i actually felt a bit sorry for her then (not pity, i don't feel pity for anyone)
Of course our children grow and do their own thing (even before they have a career and ar emarried lol) I think i'd worry if my daughter were to hang off me every minute of everyday. My daughter is 16, and most weeks she sleep out approx 3times, flitting between her boyfriends and her best friends lol (of course though cos we live so far out, her dad drives her from one to the other lol) And you know i want good things for her - as in, to travel, and maybe even live abroad (God i'd miss her, she's my only one, but i'd love that for her)
However - she reckons she's not going to be leaving home till she's 30 rofl! Well, we'll see about that one - and i shall let you know in 14yrs time haha!
I once remember my own mother coming to my home wiht my dad - and my dad looked ashen, we'd recently moved to another town and wasn't just across the road anymore, my mum made it clear she never liked me anyway, and pretty much controlled my dad.
They came in, sat down - and my dad blurted out that the doctor had just told my mum she had cancer (this was 13yrs ago btw) I didn't believe for one minute, but never said a thing. I was right - my dad hadn't gone into the doctors with her, so hadn't witnessed it, what he had told her was she needed to have the camera, as if she were to have something like cancer, it'd show it up. (i was so angry with her for putting my dad through that worry) Its funny really - cos you can always tell how honest a person it, by how they react to other ppl's situations ( just as you and your daughter did, full of concern, as you were worried, and didn't think it could be anything other than serious) so - what did it tell me when my dad was diagnosed with lung, bowel and liver cancer, when my mother said he was exaggerating for attention? I reminded her of this when he passed away 8wks later.
As for the diabetes test? I have one every year, its hereditory, and its autoimmune related, so likely i will get it - i think they should be testing you more often though P.
I hope you had a good mothers day? (((((Hug)))) xxxxxxx
xoxoxoxo
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