No Don’t Stop the Carnival or The Curious Incident concerning religion at Greenford Carnival.

I wrote this piece, which does not include any Dragons as on Monday I received the paperwork for yet another Carnival stall. I am really not certain if I can handle what this year might throw at me!


We had a brilliant idea to raise money for the church. Greenford Carnival had been resurrected and they were selling stall space at a very reasonable rate, if you were a registered charity. I could sit and do readings for people and my girls could sell some of the table sale goods that had been donated to the church. Wonderful idea, after all it is always a sunny day when they hold the carnival.

So at the appointed hour we arrived armed with Gazebo et al and set up our plot. Shortly after another church arrived. They had a huge gazebo and obviously the site allocated to them was not going to contain it. They wanted us to move down the line and we did. However they had miscalculated on their other items so once again the asked us to move. We had to restrain the president at this point from telling them in an unchristian manner to take a hike. My older daughter was ready to join her in this outburst of aggression as we were being forced to move fairly heavy boxes as well as the gazebo.

Peace settled. Eventually their cohorts arrived and one set up as close too our gazebo as she could manage. Her customers, for some form of hair treatment, started to push their chairs into our gazebo. We pushed them back. Other members of the group on seeing that I was reading blocked our sign. One of our church members who came, later in the day, to help out could not find us for the number of good other denomination, Christians trying to obscure us. They tripped over our guy ropes and then acted surprised when we asked them politely to not do so. It was all in all a terrible day, but nevertheless we made some money for the church.

The next year the carnival organizer telephoned me and asked why we had not signed up for a pitch. My middle daughter and I discussed this with some trepidation and we decided to have yet another try but this time taking art works as well as the readings, as they were lighter. (My middle daughter is a talented artist.) In case of any mishaps this year we decided to attach the signs regarding readings to the sides and front of the gazebo. We were also pleased to see that the other church was there but some five pitches away from us. Up went their giant gazebo and this time they added a healing tent. I am a Reiki Master and I had this fact displayed next to the price for readings and also the fact that I am a qualified Astrologer. I did not mention Tarot cards as I was reading the Triangle of Life cards. I did mention that I was well known on Ebay.

Their people started to arrive. They had leaflets to give out. The terms of the hire stated that we must not leaflet away from our sites. Obviously this did not apply to them as they started to wander towards us. One of the middle aged males read my signs and scuttled back from whence he came as if the hounds of hell had shown themselves to him. My daughter and I had a brilliant view of the rugby pitch where heavily muscled men (her favourite) were displaying their skills.

A queue began to form for readings and with it a flourishing of Christian souls with leaflets attempting to save others from the cardinal sin of entering my gazebo. We did not mind, they were merely misinformed individuals anyway. I suppose up to this point I had believed that all Christians worshipped the same God. Obviously I had been wrong in this assumption. I did not as yet fear for my own safety, as it had never been the practice to burn witches or clairvoyants in England but mind that did not stop them from hanging midwives and healers in the name of a fast buck. However, as other psychic will understand there is a point of trancelike detachment that we achieve during readings and this can be dangerous to disturb.

The advanced publicity had mentioned some Brazilian Carnival Dancers and I was regretting that we would not be able to see the stages from our position and we were far too busy to take a break. Some of the clients had terrible sadness with them and I did my best to raise their spirits. It is odd but not everyone that attends a carnival is actually happy and I took some seven names for my healing circle group. (I have contacts with circles throughout the world and I email details to them so there are many of us praying for the sick at similar times)

My poor daughter had to bring me endless cups of tea as my voice had started cracking from the number of clients I was processing, when I suddenly became aware of a female voice going on about the dangers of Tarot. I had already spoken to two women on the same subject as they had told me that they had bad experiences with Tarot packs. The Tarot can be a wonderful tool but it also needs to be mastered and worked on before setting out to read others and I would certainly not use it on church business or even within our churches.

My next client, a lady arrived accompanied by another rather large young woman in a striped gaudy jumper. It appeared that she was the person complaining about Tarot. I turned to the new client and asked if the other woman was with her, as this did not seem quite likely to me. “No”. She said and laughed. I then turned to the big lady and asked her to leave us so the client had privacy. She turned on me her eyes flashing sparks and I realized I was dealing with a schizophrenic. I have had to deal with many over the years and they have a glazed expression about them due to the medication. She began to rant about Tarot. I tried to tell her we were not using it. She claimed it had driven her over the edge. From her state I assumed that she had already been there before she took up cards. Her backing group, a collection of some five elderly and middle aged men, had gathered to the right hand side of our gazebo and were moaning. It had become bizarre. I told her to leave she turned on me and I felt certain that I was in danger. Such people are not to be trifled with even medicated and I was aware that maybe she was on more medication than necessary and definitely dangerous. I instructed my daughter to fetch the security as they were just passing. She ran out past the group of ‘true’ believers. Meanwhile out front the queue was becoming almost hysterical. I again ordered the woman and she came towards me like one possessed but she also stopped short and I raised my hand and said to her “Out demons out”, she shrieked and backed up. The security arrived and she started to turn on my daughter saying she was in league with devils and proclaiming that she had insulted Jesus. My daughter was taken aback. The strange group of supporters came through at this point anxious to collect her before the security could run her off site. She contorted her neck and began to make strange noise like a strangulated turkey. Her Greek chorus sighed that she was speaking in tongues. My queue collapsed into howls of laughter. The security joined them. The main security officer said that they were totally in support of us and asked the price of one of my daughter’s painting. The woman was lead away.

Soon after the man in charge of the opposition church group stormed towards us across the grass. He stopped short and tried to look aggressive. He was about as intimidating as a five year old. My daughter asked him if we could be of assistance and he stomped off obviously aware that he might be provoking a more serious situation that he had first thought.

I was very upset that a sick woman had been goaded into making this type of spectacle. My queue were busy making jokes and although I know that this reflected a lessening of their anxiety it was also sad that these were aimed at another Christian church.

The wind whipped up and I mentioned that my water glass had flooded my table but it was not of biblical proportions. This did accord appreciative laughter and then from nowhere the Brazilian dance group, tall, slender, beautiful young women dressed in skimpy bikini tops, tassels and the smallest of jeweled thongs and rhinestone danced into view. I was heard to muter oh no Sodom and Gomorrah are here. The other church ran and hid from the spectacle of healthy and half clad young women. I was left to ponder why they had attacked me and not the Beer tent further down the park. Perhaps a psychic is an easier target than a heavy drinker? Who can fully understand the nature of the beast!
As a codicil I pondered the affair and decided that although God has an amazing sense of humour he did not want the apostles to go forth and make noises like a half mad turkeys. The gift of tongues is indeed the gift of foreign languages but how does one sell this concept to some of the stranger cults that have sprung up in his name. Also my family still giggles when I suggest turkey for Christmas dinner and this should be no reflection on the noble sacrifice of turkeys.